Much like the new mother of the infant King, I sit at my child's bedside and watch him while he sleeps. So many things going through my mind. Reflecting on moments, events, and conversations from the past year that still replay in my mind.
Emotions. Fear, courage, anxiety and patience. Anticipation, exhilaration, grief, and joy. Relief. Surrender. Faith, hope and love.
Questions. Unanswered questions only time can answer. Why? Why not? What am I afraid of? How did we get to this place? What’s next? Am I equipped with the skills I need for this journey? Unasked questions that I'm too afraid to ask. Blind, simple, and pure faith is all there is; I don’t need all the answers today.
Simple joy. Finding the little pleasures in everyday tasks. Not wishing away today, but living each day just one day at a time.
Connecting. Being there at just the right moment to offer comfort to another frightened mother because I've walked a mile in her shoes. Seeing the surprise in a stranger's eyes the moment that they realize they have made an unexpected connection with my child; knowing that this child has touched the spot deep down in their soul where only the Lord can see. Observing a small child delicately reach out to touch my son’s hand, hoping that this same child will one day grow into a Godly man who will reach out to touch the needy and suffering simply because he had an opportunity to know my special child.
Plans. Time and time again, my plans have failed. I must now push aside my road map, and follow the way planned before me knowing that it will not be an easy journey; yet, I’ve learned to embrace it as a great adventure.
Miracles. Discovering the presence of the Father in the confines of a hospital room. Witnessing the Healing Hand of God at work through the abilities of a skilled physician. The first breath. Answered prayers.
Blessings. Riches. Treasures. All tucked away in my memory taking on special meaning as I ponder them deep within my heart.
Leslie Harley, Christmas 2003
