2/3/08
- A few nights ago, tornado warnings were issued in the area, and we
didn't quite know what to do with ourselves. Typically, we would be
scurrying around the house gathering up Sammy's medical equipment,
emergency supplies, medications, and blankets in preparation for
seeking shelter in our bathroom. On Memorial Day weekend a few years
ago, a tornado did hit our neighborhood, and Sammy was safe and secure
in the bathroom surrounded by everything he might need in the event of
a disaster--except we had forgotten the Ambu Bag which he would need if
he were to stop breathing. It was on that day when I realized that I
house just isn't a home unless there's an Ambu Bag in every room!
A
few nights ago, we were watching the storm roll in, listening to the
emergency sirens blaring, and with a slightly-nervous voice Steve
warned, "Leslie, you need to get things ready!" My reply was, "Okay . .
. but you realize that all I have to do is walk into the bathroom and
close the door, right?" It was strange that my mind wasn't racing with
all of the "what ifs" and anticipating what steps I would need to take
in an effort to keep Sammy safe because I have the peace and comfort of
knowing that Sammy is completely safe and secure in heaven!
2/12/08 -
We went out of town last week. We drove to North Carolina to attend the
Celebration of Life service for Cayden Arnold. Cayden's mom is on the
board of directors of Families for HoPE, and she's one of our founding
directors. Cayden was born in August 2003, just four months following
Sammy's birth. Cayden passed away in his sleep on January 31, just
three weeks after Sammy. The trip was very therapeutic and healing for
us, allowing us to express our love and grief for both Sammy and
Cayden, along with all of the other little ones with HPE who have
passed away. Today, we learned that a writer from the Associated Press
has written about Cayden and his special family. Click on this link
from USA Today.
Steve
returned to work yesterday following a leave of absence. I'm at home
today, and today is my first day alone in the house since Sammy passed
away. The only sounds I hear are the furnace running and drops of water
from the leaky faucet in the bathroom just around the corner. It's
quite different than it was with Sammy here when I'd hear the nurse's
footsteps, the suction machine, the feeding pump alarms. No longer do I
hear the phrases, "Sammy just threw up, again!", "Leslie, can you come
look at this?", or "Did you realize that you're almost out of wipes?"
Those phrases and sounds would be music to my ears today!
2/13/08 - We have been amazed at the
number of messages we have received from total strangers who have
stumbled across Sammy's website. Last week, Monica from Alexandria,
Indiana, sent us a passage from a book entitled, "Letter from Heaven".
This passage is a fictional answer to the question of "What do children
do in heaven?"
...The first thing
you might have noticed is that heaven is filled with their singing and
laughter. They play together in grassy fields, catching bright-colored
butterflies, giving them a quick kiss, and watching them fly away. In
heaven, children can soar with the birds over a rainbow. Their laughter
rings out like silver bells. Small groups of children sometimes spread
out on their tummies on the velvet grass, coloring pictures with
crayons of iridescent colors only seen in heaven.
During my long
walk, I passed one little boy who was lying in a flower-covered meadow
reading a book with his head resting on the back of a lion. A tiny
lamb, pure and clean as snow, was curled up next to him. What a picture
of total peace, security, and contentment. I saw the pleasure the
animals bring to the children as they played together. Rosy-cheeked
children were shouting merrily as they played hide-and-go-seek with
baby kangaroos. Two little boys were taking a ride on the back of a
graceful tiger. Another pair of adventuresome little girls were soaring
through the cloudless sky on the wings of an eagle. Their hair was
blowing straight out behind them as their joyous laughter rang through
the pristine air. What a sight!
Are you surprised we have
animals here in heaven? Why wouldn't there be? When God first created
the human race, He put the animals under our protective care. Animals
are very special to God. The children are able to enjoy their
playfulness without any trace of harm or danger just as God intended
when He created them. Never forget that animals had a special place in
the garden, they have a special place there on earth, and they have a
special place here in heaven where you can enjoy them in complete
safety forever.
.....Children in heaven are joyfully cared for
and tenderly loved by Jesus, the angels, and their many friends. As
part of God's family, they're never sad or lonely. They love their
family on earth but now with an intense, perfected love that is
eternal. And one day, as they are swinging on the garden gate, they
will see their parents and other loved ones who accepted God's gift of
forgiveness step over the border into heaven!
2/27/08 - As you can see, Sammy's website has gone through a major
overhaul! Everything is still here; it's just formatted differently and
moved around a bit. The journey we started with Sammy still continues
on as we carry him in our hearts rather than in our arms. We know that
there is hope in spite of our grief. As we grieve and heal, we hope to
share some of our stories, insights, and adventures with you. Won't you
join us in the journey?